 It's for your own consumptionThe good chefs dress in black, remember that, just in case you seen an aswang and want omelets. These are the graphic chronicles of two men, Chops and Burns, collectively known as the Chefs in Black, who seek out the world's most exotic foods. Created by Cliff N. Hansen (Publisher of The Sláinte Magazine and award-winning designer of 42) and Tim Harnett (author of Trompe L'oeil and the upcoming Rêve), these comics have been described as "Anthony Bourdain meets hentai." Issues are released monthly on or around the seventeenth. The black and white versions are free downloads (free as in beer) with a Creative Commons license. Unfortunately every issue is password protected. As artists and publishers, a password is a pain in the balls. But, unfortunately our whiskey-money comes from teaching and as teachers we need to prevent our schools and students from accessing these, so fuckadoodledoo. Also, certain religious groups--I'm not naming names here--like to place fatwahs on people who make fun of their imaginary friend. So, if this is a party you're comfortable joining, please email for the password. The password is the same for each issue. A full-color printed compilation of the first volume of Chefs in Black will be available next year! |
Volume Three: The Chef FilesDude, let's not get ahead of ourselves! This is almost three years from now. I would like to stop drawing and go outside once in a while, look at a few trees, maybe meet a pretty girl or two! We'll let you know when or if this season is coming. If you have nothing else to do but wait around for another volume, why don't you do future history a favor and engrave the Chefs in Black into stone and bury the tablets in your back yard. That way, hundreds of years from now, our descendants will dig them up and think that this shit was real. I'm sure our Creative Commons license can be modified to allow stone-tablet engravings so long as they are created and burried with the sole intent of fucking with future archeologists. Our descendants will probably have evolved fish-like body parts since the ice caps will be long-past fucked, and will be confused by the engraved Chefs tablets when they find them. Some fucknut will probably assume that the tablets are describing actual events, much like contemporary fucknuts assume the events in the Bible, Torah, and Koran were historically accurate. Maybe they'll even start worshiping Chops and Burns, creating statues and wars over them. How deliciously awesome would that be!? Or, you could create your own interpretations of time-honored mythologies that modern copyright-law has yet to pollute, draw or write them out, and email them to us, since we'd really fucking love to read them! |
Warning
These comics contain copious and gratuitous nudity, perverse sexual situations, mullets, alcohol abuse, bestiality, drug use, violence, masageny, fecal humor, man-on-satyr sodomy, heresy, redundancy, libel, slander, jingoism, bigamy, racism, incitement of civil unrest, witchcraft, heresy, redundancy, bad puns, bullying, draft-dodging, terrorism, unrepentant socialist sympathies, an awkward unreturned love toward Richard Dawkins, Holocaust denial, Zionism, Advocacy for the reunification of the Dakota Territories, blasphemy, pro-IRA sentiment, anti-IRA sentiment, teen angst, bitterness, McCarthyism, disco-fever, refusal to floss, Bluegrass, shark jumping, and Muppets.
These comics are definitely NSFW. They are probably not safe for home either. They should not be read by children, pregnant women, women who are operating heavy machinery, women who may become pregnant with heavy machinery, women pregnant by heavy machinery, Muslims, Christians, or Jews...except for the Hollywood Jews who we will sell out to faster that you can say "that whole Hollywood Jew thing is a racist myth." It's all for the purposes of parody, satire, and a good drunken laugh. Please don't kill us!
Unfortunately this series is no longer legal in the otherwise wonderful nation of Ireland. Please protest that ridiculous new anti-blasphemy law!
Unfortunately this series is also no longer legal in Australia, a nation with pornography laws as upside-down as their maps. Please protest the law forbiding nude images of consenting adult women with A-cup breast sizes.
Reviews
"Chefs in Black is the perfect mix of weird and awesome. Falling somewhere in that small gray border-land between brilliant and insane, Chefs in Black is a wonderful marriage of literature (akin to what mass murderers might write) and art (of the sort a developmentally disabled kindergartner might draw). Read this comic at your own risk."
-JW
"LOL. Disturbing? Yes. But also VERY funny...."
-MG
"Shew! Okay, you're fucking brilliant."
-MM
"Pretty good. I'm a little confused, but I really look forward to the new editions...can't wait to see more!"
-NM
"Perversion...doesn't bother me and your warning had me giggling out loud...you have given sufficient warning to avoid any future blame or lawsuits from me."
-MR
"Thanks for all the fun. I liked the comics. I shared them with [my girlfriend] and she just kind of starred at me."
-JB
"I enjoyed the first page...the bit with the copyright."
-MT