 It's for your own consumptionThe good chefs dress in black, remember that, just in case you seen an aswang and want omelets. These are the graphic chronicles of two men, Chops and Burns, collectively known as the Chefs in Black, who seek out the world's most exotic foods. Created by Cliff N. Hansen (Publisher of The Sláinte Magazine and award-winning designer of 42) and Tim Harnett (author of Trompe L'oeil and the upcoming Rêve), these comics have been described as "Anthony Bourdain meets hentai." Issues are released monthly on or around the seventeenth. The black and white versions are free downloads (free as in beer) with a Creative Commons license. By clicking the download links, you agree to the terms that you are 18 or above, not a student or staff member at the schools the authors and illustrator work at, and just want to have a solid laugh. Also, certain religious groups--I'm not naming names here--like to place fatwahs on people who make fun of their imaginary friend; if you believe in dieties of any sort, do us all a favor and go drink your KoolAid instead of reading our heresy. But, if this is a party you're comfortable joining, please email with your comments. A full-color printed compilation of the first volume of Chefs in Black will be available next year! |
Volume One: The Sausage Fest
1.0
The Token Holiday Prequel
 
A plane crash and search for the yeti introduce our heroes in the Arctic.Download: High-res Low-res
1.6
A Schlong Carol
 
Three ghosts show Chops what his life would be like if he wasn't a playa.Coming June 17, 2010!
1.7
Cooking (for) Vegans
 
Since we have to make them happy, here's an issue for the vegans.Coming July 17, 2010!
1.8
Yeti Yogurt
 
Invisible strippers switch the libidos of Chops and Burns.Coming August 17, 2010!
1.9
Pele Poi
 
Burns falls in love with a goddess and Chops wings for the Executive Branch.Coming Darney Day, 2010! 
1.10
The Great Pumpkin PieOnce a year a special desert is served...but only if you believe. Coming October 17, 2010!
1.11
Great Spirit Spirits
 
Chops and Burns celebrate the difference between dots and feathers.Coming November 17, 2010!
1.12
Centaur Sushi
 
A plan to serve sushi on Yoko Ono may break up the Chefs...or worse.Coming December 17, 2010! |
Warning
These comics contain copious and gratuitous nudity, perverse sexual situations, mullets, alcohol abuse, bestiality, drug use, violence, masageny, fecal humor, man-on-satyr sodomy, heresy, redundancy, libel, slander, jingoism, bigamy, racism, incitement of civil unrest, witchcraft, heresy, redundancy, bad puns, bullying, draft-dodging, terrorism, unrepentant socialist sympathies, an awkward unreturned love toward Richard Dawkins, Holocaust denial, Zionism, Advocacy for the reunification of the Dakota Territories, blasphemy, pro-IRA sentiment, anti-IRA sentiment, teen angst, bitterness, McCarthyism, disco-fever, refusal to floss, Bluegrass, shark jumping, and Muppets.
These comics are definitely NSFW. They are probably not safe for home either. They should not be read by children, pregnant women, women who are operating heavy machinery, women who may become pregnant with heavy machinery, women pregnant by heavy machinery, Muslims, Christians, or Jews...except for the Hollywood Jews who we will sell out to faster that you can say "that whole Hollywood Jew thing is a racist myth." It's all for the purposes of parody, satire, and a good drunken laugh. Please don't kill us!
Unfortunately this series is no longer legal in the otherwise wonderful nation of Ireland. Please protest that ridiculous new anti-blasphemy law!
Unfortunately this series is also no longer legal in Australia, a nation with pornography laws as upside-down as their maps. Please protest the law forbiding nude images of consenting adult women with A-cup breast sizes.
Reviews
"Chefs in Black is the perfect mix of weird and awesome. Falling somewhere in that small gray border-land between brilliant and insane, Chefs in Black is a wonderful marriage of literature (akin to what mass murderers might write) and art (of the sort a developmentally disabled kindergartner might draw). Read this comic at your own risk."
-JW
"LOL. Disturbing? Yes. But also VERY funny...."
-MG
"Shew! Okay, you're fucking brilliant."
-MM
"Pretty good. I'm a little confused, but I really look forward to the new editions...can't wait to see more!"
-NM
"Perversion...doesn't bother me and your warning had me giggling out loud...you have given sufficient warning to avoid any future blame or lawsuits from me."
-MR
"Thanks for all the fun. I liked the comics. I shared them with [my girlfriend] and she just kind of starred at me."
-JB
"I enjoyed the first page...the bit with the copyright."
-MT
